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1 Notes

Thursday.

Spending holidays alone doesn’t make me sad or pathetic or overly lonely; a little lonely, sure, but I’m fine. Gabe is home with family, Holly is up in the mountains with family. Being new to LA, I don’t yet have a solid foundation of displaced friends-not-from-here. So, I’ve successfully filled my Thanksgiving with work, fast food, and high-quality television programming. 

I’m thinking about my family, I miss them. These past two months, my mother and sister have sent me a barrage of photos of my nephew; he’s two, and already so much bigger than he was in August and I can’t believe how much he’s talking now and he’s so smart and every picture breaks my heart a little more. I feel like Auntie Sass should be there for him more than she is. I miss my dad, who tried so hard to get me to stay in San Diego at least through the holidays, before attempting to tough out the whole LA thing on my own. Maybe I should have, but the shotgun-style move here was probably the most painless way for all of us.

So I’m here, in my apartment alone. For now, I’ll suffice with thoughts of love and appreciation for the family and friends that I do have, however far away they may be. I’ve come to terms with the idea that I’m where I need to be, and part of growing up is learning to sacrifice some of the things you love most. Maybe it’s selfish - as I’ve convinced myself it is this evening - but I’m hoping, hoping it’s for the best. In the long run. Here’s to hoping.

If anybody is reading this, I hope you’re having a day filled with love. And if not, I hope you’re okay with being alone, just like I am. There’s a bottle of champagne in my fridge, and I’m not sure it’s going to make it through the night. Happy Thursday.

1 Notes

More pictures of your cutie pie face please

Asked by Anonymous

'Just had some CRAZY good pie' face, so there you have it.

7 Notes

ladybakescakes:

More ganache tarts for work. Can you tell they’re my favorite to decorate?

More of my work. At work.

Notes

I will always be your anonymous fart asking friend. Perhaps one day we can meet and make sweet sweet flatulence together. Hugs, doll.

Asked by Anonymous

I understand, but I’m still disappointed. So until that moment, I will dream methane-fueled dreams.

2 Notes

heterocodependency:

Ah, sweet innocence.

Iiiiiiiiii’m an idiot.

heterocodependency:

Ah, sweet innocence.

Iiiiiiiiii’m an idiot.

Notes

Hm, that's sad to hear. You should look into probiotics. Or even better, citrucel. It revolutionized my poopings! So worth it imo.

Asked by Anonymous

Oh, fart asker. I wish you would reveal yourself, I’m in need of a friend this evening.

Notes

I wish you'd answer the pooping question seriously!! I hope you have a healthy, well functioning GI system!!

Asked by Anonymous

I’m a terrible pooper. I’m inconsistent, sometimes I go several days without pooping, sometimes I do all the poops…it’s just a trainwreck in there. So I’m sorry, fart asker, but my GI system is the pits.

This is all very disconcerting.

Notes

What are your regrets?

Asked by Anonymous

I regret everything and nothing. 

1 Notes

How often do you poop and are you a morning, afternoon and/or evening pooper?

Asked by Anonymous

I fucking LOVE this question, because I am always curious about people and their shitting habits.

I poop all day every day. Just a constant shitstream. It’s amazing, but not as cleansing as one might imagine.

1 Notes

We’re adult women, we can talk about queefs.
Kayla (via heterocodependency)

Notes

Potential Titles For My Future Memoir, PART DEUX!

-The Rape-ier The Bar, The Better The Happy Hour

-Canned Corn For Dinner, And Other Post-Karaoke Decisions

-The Finger Gun Saga: Why I Didn’t Get The Job Or The Second Date

-Pun Shunned 

-I Sneezed On A Lady At Work And Felt Nothing

-Butt Touching

-The Night Of A Thousand Vaginas

-How RuPaul Taught Me To Love

-I Hate Everybody

-LA Life: Everyone Here Is Better Looking Than Me

-Friday Night Prunes


Notes

you seem like a pretty put together person, but I sense some mystery to you, let me into your brain!

Asked by Anonymous

How can I let a rando on the internet into my brain? I WOULDN’T KNOW WHO TO UNLOCK THE HATCH FOR.

Notes

goddamn you're sexy as hell

Asked by Anonymous

Drag lady says thank you.

1 Notes

This is what happens when you have a couple hours free and you’re considering going as a drag queen for Halloween.

1 Notes

heterocodependency:

Holly and Kayla in their natural habitat.

Two Broke Girls (Go To Bar Anyway)

heterocodependency:

Holly and Kayla in their natural habitat.

Two Broke Girls (Go To Bar Anyway)